Restoring What’s Real: Using the Fail Forward Deck to Build Trust and Connection
It all begins with an idea.
Restorative spaces require intention.
Whether it’s a classroom circle, an advisory group, a community dialogue, or a healing-centered SEL session, the quality of the conversation determines the quality of the restoration. People show up carrying their day, their assumptions, their fears, and their hope that this space might feel different from the others.
The Leap & Learn Fail Forward Card Deck gives facilitators a structure for leading those conversations with balance, depth, and humanity.
These circles are not about perfection. They are about presence. And presence grows when we create predictable rituals—questions, prompts, stories—that invite people to settle, breathe, and speak from somewhere deeper than surface level.
Why Restorative Work Needs More Than “Our Usual Questions”
Many restorative circles fall flat because the questions are generic or overly scripted. Participants can sense when prompts are routine instead of responsive. People open up when a question meets them where they are, not where the lesson plan hopes they’ll be.
Research on belonging (Cohen & Garcia, Stanford) shows that when people feel emotionally safe, their capacity for problem-solving, empathy, and reflection increases. Restorative practices thrive on exactly that: the harmony between safety and honesty.
The Fail Forward deck strengthens that harmony.
How the Deck Deepens Restorative and SEL Conversations
Each category supports a different layer of reflection and emotional processing:
Launch Cards help participants ease into the circle with grounding and connection.
Stumble Stories normalize the human experience of mistakes without shame.
Leap Prompts push toward deeper insight, self-awareness, and repair.
Momentum Moves help groups articulate next steps so the circle leads to real change.
This structure mirrors core restorative practice principles: welcoming, storytelling, reflection, and reintegration.
Practical Ways to Use the Deck in a Restorative or SEL Setting
Below are facilitation strategies grounded in research and restorative practice models.
1. Open With Centering (Launch Cards)
A circle begins before the first voice is heard. Participants need time to settle into the moment rather than drag in unfinished energy from the day.
🟦 Try:
“What’s something you’re carrying today that you’d like to set down for the next hour?”
This aligns with trauma-informed SEL practices that emphasize regulation as a precursor to processing.
2. Normalize Imperfection (Stumble Stories)
Restorative work requires vulnerability, and vulnerability grows when people realize they are not alone in their imperfect moments.
🟥 Try:
“Share a moment when a misunderstanding grew bigger than you intended.”
This promotes empathy, which CASEL cites as a foundational SEL competency.
Stumble Stories help participants articulate where things went wrong without judgment, which is the heart of restorative dialogue.
3. Shift From Story to Insight (Leap Prompts)
Once the story is shared, the next step is learning from it. Leap Prompts stretch participants beyond recounting events toward reframing them.
🟩 Try:
“What’s something you wish the other person in the situation understood about you?”
This encourages perspective-taking, which research shows reduces conflict and strengthens connection.
4. Move Into Repair or Planning (Momentum Moves)
Restoration is incomplete without a path forward. Momentum Moves give groups the language to articulate agreements, commitments, and follow-up actions that matter.
🟧 Try:
“Identify one small behavior shift that would make tomorrow feel different from today.”
This reinforces the restorative objective: progress, not perfection.
Tips for Facilitators
Honor silence. Silence is not resistance; it is processing.
Model first. When you answer a card honestly, you signal permission for others to do the same.
Allow the pass. Empowerment comes from choice.
Close the circle with gratitude. Ask participants to name something they’re taking with them.
Revisit Momentum Moves weekly. This builds accountability and continuity.
Why This Works
Restorative practices need consistency, structure, and emotional safety. The Fail Forward deck provides a predictable yet flexible framework that supports all three.
Circles become more than a response to conflict. They become a rhythm of community-building, identity-shaping, and emotional development.
Research from the International Institute for Restorative Practices shows that communities with consistent restorative rituals report stronger relationships, reduced conflict, and improved engagement.
That’s the work this deck supports: not just conversation, but connection.